Here’s a look at the wonderful reasons to be a stay at home mom, and some very compelling reasons not to.
One of the main reasons to be a stay at home mom is that becoming a mother changes your outlook on life. Some mothers experience an emotional and physical bond with their babies that they don’t want to break.
Women who choose to prioritise family over their career can feel some sense of loss, especially those leaving fulfilling jobs they love. And women who stay at home usually harbour fantasies about their career and returning to work.
All moms make their own decision based on their reasons, and there is no right or wrong answer. Ultimately life is about balance, trial and error and finding out what works for you and your family.
Raising children is one of the most critical, challenging and rewarding jobs in the world. Being a stay at home mom has positive benefits for both children and moms but can be isolating and unfulfilling for some.
When weighing up the pros and cons/reasons to be a stay at home mom, there are often just as many reasons to stay at home as there are to work, and this makes it difficult to determine what is suitable for you and your family.
If you make the decision to stay at home, don’t miss our article with 45 ideas to ensure you thrive as a stay at home mom. And review our list of stay at home mom apps, a list of apps that will help with home organisation, recipes, sleep, meditation, affirmations, gratitude, positive quotes, health, wellness and more.
Here’s a look at the pros and cons of both decisions.
14 Reasons to be a Stay at Home Mom
Friendships
You will most likely meet the most beautiful friends by being a stay at home mom. A community that will provide you with support, resources, mom tips, and information while raising your children.
Having a community of moms to lean on gives you the confidence to try new things, trust your instincts and believe in yourself. And mothers with a strong community of support have lower levels of stress and higher levels of optimism.
Volunteer Work
Being a stay at home mom provides lots of opportunities to help. Think on school committees, excursions, canteen, team sports and more.
Volunteering will help you get to know the school community, students, parents and teachers. Spending more time at school or around your children’s activities allows you to spend more time with your child. Volunteering can also provide you with an opportunity to utilise your skills and strengths.
Milestones
Children grow so quickly. From waking every 2-3 hours to sleeping through, to tummy time, then crawling and walking, it goes by in the blink of an eye.
Every day, there is something new: a smile, gurgle, tooth, or word. Being there for these milestones is something to treasure and a genuine blessing.
Illness
When children start childcare, it feels like they get over one bug only to get sick again a few days later. Although this is expected and builds their immunity, it can be exhausting for a working mom. Scheduling doctors appointments, administering medicine, attending to sick children and managing work can all take their toll.
No Regrets
Another reason to be a stay at home mom is that most women who stay at home with their children don’t regret it. However, those who choose to work full time look back and think the time whizzed by quickly; they may have missed something.
Having regrets about not seeing your children enough are greater than regrets about career loss.
Mom Guilt
One of the biggest things about being a working mom is your guilt for investing in yourself and your career. Every game missed, times you put work before them, or you’re late picking them up is another pang of guilt.
Education
Having your children at home means you are instilling your values, ethics and standards of behaviour in them. When you are not as busy, it’s easier to find the time to encourage positive behaviour.
You have the energy to reinforce empathy, giving, gratitude and promoting good manners. Being there always means you are their primary role model and teacher for spiritual and character development; you can model and discuss the behaviour you want to instil.
Planning your days means deciding what experiences your children will have. You have complete control over what they watch, how they learn and what they learn.
Consistency
Being the sole carer for your child/ren means you control their environment and create a relaxed and nurturing atmosphere. You are also able to provide consistency with your discipline and parenting.
Self-Care
One of my favourite reasons to be a stay at home mom is that being a stay at home mom provides more time to indulge in self-care. Taking care of yourself will help with consistency, patience and positivity.
If we don’t set aside time to find joy, we can feel resentful and depleted. Self-love is a personal journey and looks different for everyone. What you need to feel happy and fulfilled is unique to you.
Some moms may consider work a part of their self-care. Carving out time to listen and understand yourself helps you make congruent decisions with your physical, psychological and spiritual wellbeing. And when your choices align with the authentic you, you will feel happier.
Taking good care of yourself means you have the resources and energy to care for others.
Rewarding
Being a stay at home mom can be incredibly rewarding. Children teach us so much, including to be more spontaneous, loving, and enjoying the little things in life.
Getting to love your child every minute of the day is a miraculous experience. A day with young children is (usually) filled with smiles, giggles, kisses and love. You will be making beautiful memories that you will treasure forever.
Financial
Being a working mom costs money. Many moms find it cheaper to stay at home. When you add up the cost of travel, clothes, accessories, lunches, medical expenses, tax, convenience food, babysitters, and child care.
Note: If being a full-time stay at home mom is something you are committed to doing, there is usually a way to make it happen through sacrifice and lifestyle change.
Childcare
One of the main reasons to be a stay at home is that if you are working full time, it can feel like your pass your baby or child to someone in the morning, only to pick them up later in the evening. This routine makes the time you have with them fleeting and stressful.
Trying to fit in dinner before bed can impact the quality time you get to spend with your little ones every day. The role of the childcare centre is to keep your child happy, fed, safe and alive; it’s not to love them unconditionally as you would.
Bonding
Bonding with your baby is essential as it promotes brain growth by releasing chemicals and hormones. It is also important that you bond with your baby to encourage body development, self-esteem, trust and security.
You will still bond with your baby if you are a working mom, but spending most of your time with your baby is an excellent way to bond. An added benefit is that you can learn to read and understand your babies cues if you are with them most of the time.
Less Stress
Working, managing children, finances, relationships, activities, and a household is a juggling act and quickly leads to overwhelm. You often feel like you finish work only to come home and work.
It isn’t easy to relax, feel happy, invest in your relationship or find downtime when you have so many balls in the air. Experiencing less stress as your journey through motherhood is a compelling reason to be a stay at home mom.
Stay at Home Mom Disadvantages
24/7
Motherhood should be deeply satisfying and meaningful. But it’s easy to lose yourself in the busyness of being a mom only to find that you no longer recognise who you once were.
Staying at home and focussing solely on the children can make you feel like you rarely get a moment to yourself. It’s a very demanding role that comes with no sick leave, no lunch breaks, no weekends, and no holidays.
You will spend most of your time taking care of the needs of others. Being a full-time mom requires graciousness and patience every day. You are the default parent for everything, which can feel all-consuming.
Being a stay at home mom is not just physically demanding but can also be exhausting mentally. Although it’s enriching, your life gets consumed and revolves around your child/ren. When I first became a mom, I remember thinking, “But what about me?”
Patience
Whether it’s toddler tantrums, siblings fighting or being asked why fifty thousand times a day, being a stay at home mom seriously tests your patience, and it will drive you completely bananas some days.
Unfulfilling
Housework is boring and repetitive with little mental stimulation, so it quickly gets dull. Depending on your situation, your work may go unappreciated, making you feel undervalued.
Consistency, time management and balance can be hard when managing housework, which can feel never-ending.
Judgement
I am sure people think being a stay at home mom involves watching television and having baby snuggles all day. Because of this, being a stay at home mom can be criticised by some members of society. Despite the sacrifice they make, stay-at-home moms can be viewed as lazy or not contributing to society.
Depression
A 2012 Gallup Poll found that stay at home moms have higher levels of anger and sadness. Although the percentage increase is not huge, being a stay at home mom can be thankless and isolating. Depending on your personal situation and how social you are, there can be a distinct lack of adult conversation most days.
Isolation
When your children are very young, it can be challenging to leave the house. You are more susceptible to isolation when transitioning from work and having a newborn.
Building your new network of mom friends can take time. And even longer if you are the first person in your social group to have a baby. Looking after young children all day can mean there is little opportunity for adult conversation.
Financial Dependence
Sometimes staying at home means you are losing an income and need to make sacrifices or change your lifestyle. It can also mean you lose some independence as you become dependent on your partner to financially support you and your baby.
This dependence can be difficult for independent women who link their financial contribution to their autonomy and identity. Being dependent on your partner financially gives you limited choices if your feelings or relationship changes.
It can also put you in a tricky situation if your partner gets upset with you for spending money on yourself or things they might consider frivolous. If your partner has a “yours” and “mine” rather than an “ours” attitude, it will be necessary to seek counselling so you can restore the power balance.
Loss of Confidence
Focussing purely on children and home responsibilities can make you lose confidence in your other skills and abilities. Losing confidence is not the case for all moms, but some can start to feel their identity eroding.
Although nothing can compare to the love and warmth of your children’s arms, it can be challenging to watch the achievements of other women who are kicking goals while you are at home caring for children. Transitioning from an intelligent, successful, competent and sought after professional to an exhausted, anxious and sleep-deprived mother can contribute to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.
Career
Taking time out from your career can negatively impact your future career prospects. Having a loss of work history on your resume makes it hard to sell your skills and value when you decide to go back to work.
If you can find a way to keep your foot in the door, so you don’t forget your skills, it will be much easier to regain employment in the future. Studies also show that employed mothers are better emotionally, experiencing less sadness and depression.
Role Model
Not working may be a disadvantage to some mothers who would like to role model women in the workforce. But the world needs all kinds of role models.
Working hard and feeling good about your choices and what you do will give your children the self-confidence to know they can achieve whatever they want in life, no matter what they choose, including being a stay at home mom.
Related: If you are about to give birth again, our positive birth affirmations will take your mind from negative to positive, ensuring you feel powerful, capable and ready for labour.
There are drawbacks to every decision and not every woman is cut out to be a stay at home mom, just as not every woman cut out to be a working mom. The main reason to be a stay at home mom is that it’s the most beautiful, challenging and fulfilling role you can ever take on.
Being a stay at home mom is filled with frustration, exhaustion and bliss. It’s not a decision any woman should take lightly, so weighing the pros and cons carefully and discussing them with your partner will help you decide what is best for you.
If you are interested in finding purpose as a stay at home mom, you can visit our article here for 12 enlightening ideas. Although this article is targeted toward a stay at home moms, there are excellent takeaways for all moms. These twelve ideas will ensure you fill your days with meaningful tasks that ignite your passion, build self-confidence and power up your energy.
I hope you enjoyed the wonderful reasons to be a stay at home mom, and the very compelling reasons not to. Whether you choose to be a stay at home mom or not, ultimately, the love, attention, and nurturing you give your children when you are with them is what matters above everything else.
