Nothing can quite prepare you for motherhood so we have drawn on the knowledge from our mom community to bring you our 35 best mom to be tips.
Personally, every piece of information I read in a book flew out the window once my babies were born. But other moms provided a wealth of information on how to be a good mom.
For that reason, we reached out to our wonderful community of moms and here are some of our picks of the best mom tips and tricks for a new mom to be. Offering mom to be tips and tricks, support and wisdom, their experience is incomparable.
1. Don’t Overthink
Women have been having babies forever, so don’t stress; babies are more resilient than they look. Try different things to find out what works for you and your baby.
What worked yesterday may not work today, and what works for another mom may not work for you and your baby. What worked for your first may not work for your second.
No two babies are the same, so keep trying different things and asking for mom tips. Eventually, you will get something that works for you and your baby.
2. Bonding
Our second new mom to be tip is a crucial one – it’s okay if you don’t bond with your baby immediately! Not bonding with your baby immediately is normal.
You might expect to experience a rush of overwhelming love for your newborn, but this is not always the case. Sometimes connecting with your baby takes time. Be patient; it is normal and very common not to feel an instant attachment; it will come.
3. Find Your Tribe
A recent study of new mothers reveals that those with a support system of other moms had lower stress levels, were more optimistic about parenting and had more energy. Having a group of judgement-free moms who can provide you with support, resources, mom tips, and information can give you the confidence to try new things.
Having a supportive network ensures you have the confidence to trust your instincts and believe in yourself as a new mom. Note: our podcasts recommendations for new moms are also a great way to feel like you are a part of a community when you can’t get out of the house.
4. Trust Your Instincts
As a new mom to be, you will receive mom tips from everyone, but you are the only person who knows what is suitable for your baby. So, if something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
Listen to your instincts; there are many ways to get the same result. It’s your child, and everything is your choice. Believe in yourself.
5. Preprepared Meals
Have some meals prepared in the freezer. If you can stockpile meals before your baby comes, it will take a lot of pressure off.
If not, try to prepare dinner early in the day when your baby has their first nap, either use a slow cooker or make something that you can quickly reheat in the evening.
6. Ask For Help
This new mom to be tip also applies to your pregnancy. It can be difficult to ask for help but if it is offered, take it! And if it is not offered, ask anyone you can: neighbours, family, friends, your partner.
People genuinely want to help, so even if it’s just ten minutes so you can have a shower, enjoy a cuppa, check your emails or rest, it all helps. Even a tiny amount of time to yourself can positively impact your day and well-being.
7. Have No Expectations
Having a new baby is life-changing, so if you can let go of expectations, go with the flow and meet your new baby at their pace, life will be much easier. And it will also save your sanity!
In those first few months, let go of the need to have a tidy, clean house and focus on you and your baby. Don’t put any pressure or judgement on yourself.
8. Take Care of Yourself
Being a new mom can be all-consuming; it’s difficult to remember to take care of yourself, but you need all the energy you can get. So, eat a balanced diet, get some fresh air, drink water, savour the little moments, breathe.
Move your body as much as possible, go for a walk, pick up some weights, do as much as your doctor will allow. A long hot shower, coffee, getting out of the house daily or calling a friend. Whatever it is that you need, make sure those needs are met.
9. Pelvic Floor Exercises
Make your pelvic floor exercises part of your daily routine, start in the first few days after the baby is born if possible. Pelvic floor exercises are essential regardless of whether you had a natural birth or a caesarean.
Pelvic floor exercises only take a few minutes a day and are well worth the effort to avoid incontinence, not to mention improving your sex life.
10. Savour the little things
The days may seem long, but the years fly by, and your baby will never be this age again. So, breathe in their smell, look into their eyes, smile, laugh, tickle and cuddle.
Remember their soft newness, peach fuzz baby hair, squeals and squeaks, and tiny hands and feet. Commit everything to memory and enjoy because no matter how hard it is while you are going through it, you will miss having a newborn, a toddler or a young child.
11. Everything is Temporary
The best mom tip I ever got was that everything is temporary. It was a relief to hear when my daughter had reflux and screamed every night until about 2 am.
Whatever stage you are at, whether trying to establish breastfeeding, colic, reflux, sleep regression, weaning or teething, it’s all temporary, and this too shall pass. If you are going through a difficult phase, remind yourself that it is just a stage.
12. Talk
There will be good days and bad days. Some days you might feel alone and exhausted. It’s completely normal. I had a plan for days when everything was too much.
I remember leaving two crying babies safely in their cots and retreating to another room to make an emergency call. That happened more than once!
So think about what you will do if you feel like you can’t cope. Whether you do some positive affirmations, go for a walk, talk to another mom, friend, or healthcare professional, have a plan in case you can’t think straight at that moment.
Note: If you constantly feel depressed, worried, anxious, alone, overwhelmed or sad, don’t let it go on for more than a couple of days. Look for local resources and find help as soon as possible.
13. Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is nothing like the media portrays and is very difficult at first; there is a chance it will reduce you to tears. These hydrogel breast pads will save your life.
Try a breastfeeding consultant and persist for as long as you possibly can. If you can’t breastfeed, that’s okay too; you are doing brilliantly if your baby is fed and healthy. Try to be mentally prepared for the notion that breastfeeding may not work out for you.
Note: in our podcasts recommendations, there is a podcast called the boob group, which covers everything you need to know about breastfeeding and possibly some things you don’t.
14. Outsource
Changing nappies, washing, cooking, cleaning. If you have people who can assist with these things or you are in a position to hire a cleaner, it will take the pressure off enormously.
Also, get your groceries delivered if possible. Also, check out our 201 Mom hacks to make your life easier, more productive, and fun!
My mom was with me for the first few weeks after my babies arrived and then my in-laws; I couldn’t have done it without them.
Some great tips from a second-time mom are below.
15. Maternity Pads
Despite what the video says, a great mom tip is to use adult disposable underwear as they are infinitely better than maternity pads; they are easier to use and way more comfortable. I bled for around five months after giving birth to give you an idea.
Not everyone is the same, but you might want to stock up. These are also sterile and high enough to cover a c section scar.
16. Self-love
Motherhood is a huge adjustment, and it can be a real struggle for many new moms. It’s okay to feel completely out of your comfort zone, feel like you don’t know what you are doing, or have a bad day.
You are trying your hardest and doing your best, so be gentle with yourself. Please don’t beat yourself up about anything; it’s new territory and a steep learning curve. As you journey through motherhood, practice judging yourself with the following qualities; kindness, empathy, love, care and compassion.
17. Celebrate
Celebrate the small wins. Try to think about what went well.
On difficult days when you are trying to get things done, but your baby needs you constantly, celebrate the small wins—getting out of the house, having a shower, washing your hair, managing a small grocery shop, doing a load of washing. These tiny wins are well worth celebrating.
Also, a mom tip from me – there’s nothing wrong with staying in your pyjamas all day!
18. Advice
Ignore most advice that comes your way. You will receive a lot of conflicting information from varying sources, including friends, family, other new moms, midwives, books, websites, healthcare professionals and social media.
Disregard most of it and only take the bits that resonate with you. Nod, smile and agree when people give you advice, then do what feels right for you. No matter what, remain true to you and your family.
19. It Will Get Easier
It will get easier as you settle into life with your new baby. Your baby will start sleeping for longer stretches, establish feeding, and you will gradually settle into a routine (although you may find it constantly changes as your baby continues to grow and develop).
You will also get used to your new life as a mom. Becoming a mom is a huge adjustment, so be patient and give it some time. As a note, your baby will start to give more back as s/he gets older. You will get smiles, giggles, cute and funny moments. These will make your job as a mom more rewarding.
20. Mom Guilt
Let go of mom guilt. Try to remember this mom tip every day! No mom guilt. The aim is to be in the present moment, letting go of the past and the future so you can enjoy now.
Focus on your breath, clearing your mind and on the present. Use your five senses to take in your surroundings with as much focus and clarity as possible.
Being calm will allow you to parent more mindfully to be fully present and enjoy now. In a few years, you won’t remember if you used a pacifier, co-slept or fed them fish fingers on nights you were too tired to cook. Try as much as possible to give yourself credit for the wonderful job you are doing. Being a mom is hard work, and you are doing brilliantly.
21. Partnership
Work in partnership. Your partner may not look after your baby the same way you do, they might do things differently, but they are also parenting your baby.
Be supportive and grateful when your partner is helping, and if they do it differently to you, that’s okay too. Your partner is the next best person to take care of your baby and often has the same instinct to love and care for them as you.
22. All Babies are Different
Your baby will walk, talk, crawl and speak at their own pace. All babies are different, and some advance faster than others.
You will be seeing your paediatrician regularly, so you can address it with them if you are worried about anything. Just because your baby doesn’t follow an exact timeline doesn’t mean there is anything wrong.
23. Routine
A fantastic mom tip for newborns is establishing a routine with your baby. Some elements you might include in your routine are when they have their bath when they are fed, listening to music, reading a book, singing to them, giving a baby massage, cuddling, rocking, and changing them into pyjamas. It’s also a good idea to try to put them to sleep at the same time every night.
24. Laundry
The laundry will never end. You will become very well acquainted with your laundry. When my twins were born, one of my mom’s presents was an additional laundry basket. I thought it was an odd present at the time, but it proved invaluable and had so much use it broke in the end!
25. Outings
Plan your outings. Once you get to the point where you feel like you can leave the house, try to schedule your outings in the morning when your baby is fresh.
And once they get older, plan and prep for outings. Try to make it fun and provide a few snacks that take a long time to eat (such as an apple) to keep them occupied.
26. Forget Almost Everything, Temporarily
The newborn stage only lasts for a short while, so do what you can and what is necessary but turn most of your energy and attention to your baby. Try to let everything else go, explain to other household members that things will return to normal in a few months.
27. Missing Your Old Life
It’s normal to miss your old life. Being a new mom is life-changing. I remember thinking, “what about me”? “Me” was not a thing in those early months with twins.
You may mourn your old life, but your new life will be amazing too; it will be more challenging and more rewarding. Don’t feel bad if you find yourself mourning your old life.
Being a mom is a huge adjustment, and life before children is just as wonderful as life with children. It’s normal for you to miss your old life, especially if you are one of the first in your social group to have a baby.
28. Relationships
You may fight with your partner more. Fatigue, breastfeeding and hormones – what a cocktail. Throwing a baby into your relationship can sometimes feel like throwing a grenade in.
It may take a while for you to navigate your way as a couple in this new dynamic. Enormous adjustments are required for both parents, and sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, so hang in there; life will get easier.
29. Let Go
Another fantastic mom tip is there is no such thing as the perfect mom, baby or child, so don’t be so hard on yourself. No one gets it right all the time, and you are doing your best, and that is always enough.
The media and social media can portray an unrealistic image of motherhood bliss and perfection, but you only have to visit our baby brain moments to realise we all have days when things don’t go as planned. I think the moms who strive for perfection struggle with parenthood the most, so embrace the chaos and unpredictability; it’s only temporary.
30. Sleep or Rest
Sleep when your baby sleeps, or at least rest when your baby sleeps. It can be tempting to do the laundry or tidy the house when your baby sleeps but try to sleep if possible.
If you can’t sleep, make sure your bedroom is conducive to day sleeping, it should be dark, relatively calm and quiet. I recommend blackout curtains if you don’t already have some. Take some time to rest while your baby is sleeping.
31. Keep Cup
If you enjoy hot beverages, you will need a thermos style cup to keep them warm, so you don’t constantly have to remake your drink.
Your cup will also be handy in the hospital as you may have to walk to get hot water, so it’s well worth investing in a good keep cup.
32. Baby Swing
As a mum of twins, I would put the happy baby in the baby swing and pick the unsettled baby up. As the day progressed, I would constantly swap the babies in and out. I can’t speak for being a mom of a single baby, but the swing was a saviour for me.
33. Snacks
If you plan on breastfeeding, it can make you very hungry. Plan health snacks in advance so you don’t fall into a trap of grabbing whatever is available to eat with one hand.
My mom tip is to plan and think about what would be easy and healthy at the same time. Avoid anything too packaged and instead go for seeds, fruit, vegetables, eggs, dried fruit, cheese, avocado or nuts. Have preplanned healthy snacks available.
34. Doulas
Consider a doula. The primary role of a Doula is to encourage self-confidence to provide support, information, and emotional care during pregnancy and birth.
Doulas can also provide support after delivery. Most Doulas will tailor their service to your requirement.
There is also an excellent birthing podcast called the Birth Hour covering birth stories and pregnancy resources. You can find the details via podcasts for new moms.
35. Breathe
Try to slow down and let your baby guide your pace. Go with the flow and be present in the moment.
Give your full attention to everything, sight, smell, sound and breath. Come from a place of compassion and acceptance. You are perfect, and so is your baby. Enjoy this time.
Related: As you prepare for the birth of your new baby, don’t stress about your hospital bag. We have the ultimate hospital packing list for mum, dad, and baby here.
As you journey through your pregnancy and later your time with your new baby, remember to enjoy it. I always thought I would have more children, so I feel like I didn’t savour it enough.
Based on this, my number one mom tip is to savour the experience as much as possible. Being pregnant often means excellent hair and nails, boobs, being waited on, shopping and naps!
Aside from our 35 best mom to be tips from our mom community, remember to enjoy your time as a new mom to be!
