These twelve ideas will ensure you find purpose and fulfilment whether you are a stay at home mom or not.
Finding purpose as a stay at home mom is easier for some than others. Some women fill a fundamental need by being a stay at home mom. Caring for their children infuses their lives with meaning and a deep sense of purpose.
However, other moms can feel stuck, frustrated and disappointed. Studies have shown that finding a purpose in life can decrease depression, anxiety, and stress while increasing longevity.
Finding your purpose will help you overcome your limiting beliefs and ensure you lead a life of fulfilment, happiness and passion.
Finding purpose as a stay at home mom can be hard when your only goal is to make it through the day. But knowing your purpose will infuse you with energy, provide a sense of clarity and connect you to your long-term fulfilment goal.
Rather than feeling emotionally depleted and unhappy with mom life, you will feel focused, driven and passionate. My happiness drives the overall mood of our home, making it imperative that I invest in myself to create a loving and nurturing environment that allows my children to thrive.
Acting with purpose will guide you, ensuring you use your time effectively and usefully. Having a future focus will increase positivity and optimism while encouraging you to live in the present. Finding your purpose is an exciting journey that will increase your joy and passion.
You might already know your passion and purpose but struggle with finding the time to invest in it. However, if you are unsure what your purpose is, there are some steps you can take to encourage more meaning in your life.
Note: These ideas apply even if you are a working mom as they look at the daily choices we make and how they impact our long term future.
I also recommend our list of stay at home mom apps, a list of apps that will help with sleep, meditation, affirmations, gratitude, positive quotes, health, wellness and more.
Reflection
This exercise takes time and contemplation, so I recommend setting aside at least a few hours to complete it.
Reflect on your present and future life to get to know yourself. Try to identify the times you have felt the most joy to clarify your deepest values and passions. When trying to discover what you are genuinely passionate about, think about what is important to you more than just what you enjoy doing.
You can take a values test here to gain more clarity. Taking the time to reflect and get to know yourself will ensure your goals align with your core values and passions.
Write a paragraph about your dream future and how you would like it to look. Studies show that Imagining your best possible self increases optimism and lowers depression. So don’t hold back, pretend there are no obstacles, and you can be and do whatever you want.
Think about your relationships, family, friends, spiritual connection, physical surroundings, health and wellness, personal growth, finances, career (if applicable) and what you do for fun. One of the keys to creating the life of your dreams is clarity.
If you don’t know what you are seeking, it isn’t easy to make it happen. Completing this exercise will ensure you understand what you strive for every day. For a detailed breakdown of how to structure your writing, click here.
Your ‘Why‘
When brainstorming ideas on your purpose, Kendall Bronk, a researcher at Claremont Graduate University, recommends taking education, experience and needs into account. Bronk maintains that you can also find Purpose by uncovering your values, skills, and interests and practising gratitude.
When reflecting on finding purpose as a stay at home mom, remember your ‘why’. Examining the role you provide and focussing on the long term benefit will help you feel connected to something larger than yourself.
Being an amazing mom and being there for your children is doing your service to the world. You are making the world a better place by investing in your children’s souls, which will leave an eternal legacy.
If you focus on how your tasks are helping your children and family in the future, it will give your work meaning and purpose. Reflecting on the long term outcome will help you feel more invigorated.
Connecting to finding purpose as a stay at home mom can be the superpower that infuses you with vigour.
In the below TEDx talk, Adam Leipzig discusses the importance of:
- Knowing who you are
- What you do
- Who you do it for
- What those people want or need, and
- What they get out of it.
This video will change your frame and view of being a stay at home mom. For example, through Leipzig’s frame, a description of a stay at home mom would be, “I am a stay at home mom, so I can ensure my children thrive and live happy lives in the future”.
Watch this video to find out how finding your life purpose might be easier than you think.
Set Goals
Once you have written about your perfect life, you can start to make goals and include the specific actions that will lead you to those goals. These are the daily and weekly actions you will take to achieve your goals. Six goals is a good number to start.
As you write your goals, identify any obstacles that may get in your way and how you will overcome these obstacles. By formulating plans and identifying barriers (if-then strategies), you will get a concrete picture of your future and be less tempted to deviate from your plan.
Use the SMART goal formula to improve your chance of success when you write your goals. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.
Specific
When writing your goals, it’s essential to be exact. For example, instead of stating that you would like to lose a few extra kilos, you specify that you would like to lose 5 kilos.
Measurable
Add some milestones to your goal to track your progress. For example, I would like to lose 5 kilos in 5 weeks, and I will lose 1kg per week. Setting and meeting milestones along the way will keep you motivated.
Achievable
Consider whether you have the resources needed to achieve your goal. Your goal should stretch your abilities but still be possible. Unrealistic goals can make you feel discouraged and set you up for failure.
Relevant
Truly understand the purpose of setting your goal. Include how you will feel once you achieve your goal. An example is to lose 5kgs in 5 weeks to feel happy, strong, energised and attractive. The key is to focus on why this is important in your life.
Timely
Set a realistic deadline considering all the other responsibilities you have in your life. Create a plan of action with measurable increments and rewards to stay on track.
Share Your Goal
After creating your SMART goals, it’s helpful to share them with friends, family or your community. You may like to take a photo of yourself and something symbolising your goal.
Making concrete plans that you can work toward with purpose is a significant step in finding purpose as a stay at home mom. Setting a goal that gets you out of your comfort zone will help you feel like you are progressing in life, bringing you growth and fulfilment.
Using goal setting has been proven to reduce stress and anxiety and increase happiness, satisfaction and self-confidence.
Vision Statement
A personal vision or mission statement is a sentence or two that defines your values, goals and what’s important to you. Your mission serves as the guiding light in your life and will ensure you get up in the morning with purpose.
This mission is the big picture you are working proactively to create. By making decisions about your life with your mission in mind, you set the foundation for becoming a fulfilled stay at home mom.
Having a mission can ignite your enthusiasm for life and let you channel your efforts towards specific endeavours. It will help you develop a more profound idea about what will make you happy while projecting you toward your happy future.
Your mission may change periodically and will help with finding purpose as a stay at home mom.
Your mission statement is unique to you and might include how you want to inspire and encourage your children. It may also incorporate the atmosphere you want to set in your family home and the type of relationships you want to nurture.
When thinking about your mission statement, ask yourself what the best version of your life would be. It might take several drafts before you feel you have something that genuinely encompasses you and what you want to achieve.
Vision Statement Examples
My mission statement (below) requires clarity and gives me a compass to guide my daily decisions, and it reflects my values and focuses on the result.
“I will create an atmosphere of respect and fun in the home, making decisions and acting from a place of love and compassion. I will try to instil the qualities of persistence, grit, curiosity, and optimism by encouraging my children to be passionate learners. My goal is to ensure my children become the best version of themselves”.
Another example of a mission statement is as follows:
“I will act as an instrument of positive change in my family and community. I will utilise my talents with energy, purpose and gratitude, ensuring my home is loving and calm. I will work hard and give more than I take. I will work hard to be a fulfilled stay at home mom so I will be a positive role model for my children.”
Once you have your mission statement, keep it in your phone, calendar or diary so you can read it and reflect on it daily. Always remember the end goal when you decide how to spend your time.
Goal Tracking
Once you have set your goal and created daily and weekly actions you will take to achieve it, ensure you review your progress daily or weekly. The more often you monitor your progress, the greater your chance of success.
Record your progress in a diary or spreadsheet. If you feel comfortable, share your progress with one other person. Tracking your goal allows you to course-correct if you fall behind.
Little accomplishments add up to significant accomplishments.
Goal tracking is one of the essentials to finding your purpose and sense of fulfilment as a stay at home mom.
Rewards
You can keep your momentum moving toward your goal by setting up rewards for when you reach important milestones along the way. Having something to look forward to weekly or bi-weekly will keep you motivated.
What motivates you will be different for everyone, so choose something that makes you happy. Some suggestions include a fun activity with the children, visiting a friend, an experience (movies, museum, theatre etc.), a course, workshop, beauty treatment or shopping.
If money is tight, add $5 to a fund toward your reward once you achieve your goal. Setting up a reward system helps you track your progress and maintain motivation.
Use an App
There are many choices available when it comes to apps. Apps can make tracking your progress fun, and they are easy and convenient to use so you can track your progress anytime, anywhere. We have recommended an excellent goal tracking app. However, many apps work in similar ways.
Productive is a daily planner and tracker that allows you to set personal goals and challenges. You can join in-app challenges, set intelligent reminders, get helpful feedback and stop and pause tasks if you need to. There are also options for daily, weekly and monthly goal setting and achievement.
Journal
Journaling is a tool for self-reflection and awareness and acts as a tracker for progress while holding you accountable for your actions. Noting your progress will boost your confidence and remind you of the increments you have made.
You can use a regular notebook to journal or The 5 Second Journal, which promises to increase productivity, confidence and happiness using psychology, organisational behaviour, and neuroscience tools.
The 5 Second Journal can help you find your purpose as a stay at home mom by ensuring you fill your day with meaningful tasks, build self-confidence and power up your energy.
Visualisation
Visualisation can help with motivation, confidence and focus while also lowering anxiety. Visualising your goal is simply daydreaming about it, seeing it come true in your mind’s eye, and getting a visual picture of your goals manifesting in reality.
Your visual image doesn’t have to be perfect. When you are visualising, you might not see anything, but you should be able to imagine it.
For example, if I say to visualise an orange, you may not actually ‘see’ an orange in your mind, but you can imagine it. It’s better to do regular short visualisation sessions rather than one big session every month. A great way to incorporate visualisation into your daily habit is to visualise what you desire right before you go to sleep.
Visualisation Technique
Choose one of the goals you have set for yourself. Read what you have written, then select a point in time where you experience it happening. Sit in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed and get comfortable. Set a timer for ten minutes.
Clear your mind and focus on your breath. Take ten slow deep breaths. Exhale as slowly as possible until your lungs are empty. Notice your rib cage rising and falling and your lungs emptying and refilling. Allow your thoughts to come and go.
Expand your awareness and imagine your goal. Create a visual image of your dream with as many details as possible. Once you have a vivid idea of your desire, think about how good achieving your goal makes you feel.
Continue to visualise your goal coming true while focusing on the joy and happiness its achievement has bought you. Allow yourself to enjoy the positive energy you have created until the timer goes off.
Try to persist with your visualisation practice daily for a month to see results.
Vision Board
A vision board is a visual reminder of the goals you set for yourself. It sparks your imagination and brings your plans to life.
Your vision board will keep you inspired and motivated while providing a clear picture of your outcome. Your vision board will help you with the above visualisation exercise.
Going through the process of making a vision board will get you thinking and dreaming about your goal. Vision boards are great for days when you feel unmotivated or have faced disappointment.
Making a Vision Board
You will need a board or corkboard, glue, pins, magazines (two or three), and double-sided tape to make a vision board. You will also need a place to hang your board and a hook or hammer and nails.
Consider your six goals and find an image to represent each goal. Your pictures should inspire and excite you.
If you find your pictures online, save and print them in colour. Then flip through your magazine to find a few inspiring words or headings. Don’t make your vision board too busy. You want to feel joy and contentment when you look at your board.
Your eyes should have the opportunity to rest on each image, not have everything vying for your attention. Set your pictures out on your board before pasting so you know exactly where they are going. Then paste, pin or stick them on. You may also like to add the year and update your vision board annually.
Hang your vision board somewhere so you can see it every day. On the back of the toilet door, on your wardrobe, or put it on your desk if you use your desk daily.
Guard your Time
Guard your time above all else and make how you spend your time your highest priority. We live in an age of distraction, but if we are serious about finding purpose as a stay at home mom, we need to protect our time ruthlessly.
Defining your goals will make it easier to structure your days and live with intention. Rather than living a completely random life, you can plan your time, focussing on the activities that move you forward.
Time management is a skill, and it takes practice. Strategise how you will spend your time by mapping out your priorities monthly, weekly and daily.
Learn to say no nicely. You are saying yes to yourself and your purpose by saying no to other people.
Giving yourself the time to focus on your goal will also drive momentum. Sunday night is an excellent night to plan out a weekly schedule.
Planning your day is best done the night before or first thing in the morning. Good time management allows you to complete more with lower stress in a shorter period.
If you are unsure whether to commit to being a stay at home mom, visit our article on the pros and cons and reasons to be a stay at home mom here.
If you are already a stay at home mom and feel stuck, frustrated or disappointed, we have 45 essential ideas to ensure you feel fulfilled as a stay at home mom. These ideas on appreciation, curiosity, acceptance, kindness, forgiveness, learning and generosity will ensure you thrive every day.
Related: If you are about to give birth again, our positive birth affirmations will take your mind from negative to positive, ensuring you feel powerful, capable and ready for labour.
If you are interested in ideas on how to be a more stylish mom visit our article on how to build a capsule wardrobe for a stay at home mom. The article provides inspiration on how to save money, increase confidence, eliminate decision fatigue, brighten your mood and feel fantastic.
As you journey on your path of self-discovery, you may have to step out of your comfort zone. You may need to take a class, find a group who share your passion for music, book, theatre or art, volunteer or join a sports club.
Whatever your interest is, you can find like-minded people who share your passion and can help you discover your purpose in life. Letting go of parts of your old identity allows you to explore new interests that support your innermost wants and needs.
Successful goal pursuit is linked to greater wellbeing. These studies demonstrate that defining progress towards a goal as success leads to increased happiness, not just achieving your goal.
So, to feel fulfilled, we need to improve and progress our lives. Making plans and taking steps to accomplish those plans will set you toward growth and fulfilment.
You won’t always wake up with the energy and drive to seize the day. However, investing the time in finding purpose as a stay at home mom will ensure you live with more passion, self-confidence and energy.
These twelve ideas will ensure you find purpose and fulfilment as a stay at home mom.
