These life-changing ideas on self-love for moms will increase your self-love, self-worth and ensure you feel happier.
Self-love for moms is exactly as it sounds and can be defined as “love of self”, or an appreciation of one’s worth. Loving yourself means accepting yourself exactly as you are and giving yourself unconditional respect and appreciation.
It’s knowing your value and self-worth no matter where you are in the present, so you can continue growing and learning with an open heart.
What Does Self-love for Moms Mean?
Self-love means prioritising your own well being and happiness above others, and it means loving yourself in every way.
This translates into talking to and about yourself with love, trusting yourself, making congruent decisions, not judging yourself, prioritising yourself, setting boundaries, and making healthy decisions.
It also means recognising you are not perfect and forgiving yourself for any perceived mistakes or inadequacies.
The Value Of Self Love for Moms
We can’t underestimate the importance of self-love. The relationship you have with yourself has been cited as the most defining factor in influencing the life you live. But self-care doesn’t happen by accident.
We need to be intentional about our goal to make time for ourselves. If we don’t set aside time to find joy, we can feel resentful and depleted.
Being intentional will help you focus on the present, be positive and live with more gratitude in your heart. And the upshot of being happier and more self-assured is an increase in self-worth resulting in the confidence to make healthier choices.
Self-love is a personal journey and looks different for everyone. What you need to feel happy and fulfilled is unique to you. It takes time and patience to understand yourself enough to know who you are and what you want.
It’s okay to use trial and error as you progress on your journey of self-discovery. By listening to yourself and understanding yourself, you can make congruent decisions with your physical, psychological and spiritual wellbeing. And when your choices align with the authentic you, you will feel happier.
Why Self-love for Moms is Important
Focussing on your happiness seems contradictory to being a great mom. But if you prioritise yourself and truly accept yourself for who you are, you will have the freedom and confidence to live life to the fullest.
By removing self-judgment, forgiving yourself and prioritising your mental health, your ability to provide love and care for others will increase. You will also be setting an excellent example for your children, who look up to you.
Although it is almost impossible to prioritise yourself when you have a newborn, newborn craziness is generally only for a short period of time. After the infant phase, self-love for moms can and should move to the very top of your priority list.
By loving and trusting yourself enough to set healthy boundaries, you will become a better mom. Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, who will care for them?
Be Patient
Loving and accepting yourself takes time. If you are implementing new strategies to help you get to a gentler and more loving place, be patient and consistent.
If kindness, empathy, love, care, and compassion are qualities you have previously reserved for others, it may take some time to instil new habits. With practice, patience and consistency, you can silence your inner critic and learn to love yourself.
And if I could say one thing, this might be pretty difficult for you to hear, but you deserve unconditional love, and you are so loveable! You can love yourself.
If things don’t go well one day, every day is a new opportunity for you to try again. Nobody is perfect, and everything worthwhile in life takes commitment, practice and dedication.
Set Your Intention
Living intentionally means defining how you want to live your life then setting a goal. You will need to understand where you are now and where you would like to get to. Self-love for moms goals is an investment in you, your wellbeing and your happiness.
Setting goals that help you love yourself, be kinder to yourself, and be happier is the aim. Knowing where to start can be tricky so, we have listed some ideas below.
Self-love for Mom Goals
Silencing your inner critic – Become conscious of how you speak to yourself and replace negative, self-deprecating thoughts with positive ones.
Setting aside 15 minutes every day to do an activity that brings you joy.
Parenting more mindfully by letting go of the past and the future.
Making healthier choices around diet and exercise.
Being a calmer and more gentle mom.
Once you pinpoint the area you would like to work on; you will need to brainstorm strategies to achieve your goal.
For example, if you intend to change the way you respond when things are not going as planned, you might like to set the intention of taking five very deep breaths before you do anything. Having a goal will help you make conscious choices that align with your values and priorities.
Clear priorities and focus are how you consistently improve.
The Goal
Whatever your goal is, try to find a way to remind yourself of your intention regularly throughout the day. This might mean setting a reminder on your phone several times a day, putting a note on the fridge or writing on the bathroom mirror. This will increase your focus and keep you motivated toward your goal.
Remember, the goal is progress, not perfection.
Set your intention and take small incremental steps toward your goal every day. Then do it the next day and the day after. If you feel it benefits you, even if it’s only a small way, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.
Small changes every day add up to big changes over a month, a year and beyond. Being intentional will increase your joy, engagement and confidence.
How to Make Time for Self-love as a Mom
Taking care of yourself as a mom can be difficult when you have so many other demands on your time. Loving yourself involves taking time out to be you, walking, thinking, dreaming and loving.
What are some things you could stop doing this week to give yourself more time just to be? Could it be eliminating TV, social media, gossip or being more organised? Redirecting your focus and energy to loving yourself and your family will have many positive benefits.
There was a period when I had genuinely lost all of myself to being a mom. I had stopped doing the things I loved and was passionate about, and they were what made me me. Doing something I loved was what made me happy, excited, and fulfilled.
From someone who has been there, my advice is to walk away from busyness, multitasking, hurrying, distraction and to-do lists and take a deep cleansing breath. As you breathe out, let go of mom guilt, the guilt of the day and responsibility from the past.
Fall in love with yourself again through your passions and joys. You deserve to be loved by you.
If you are a working mom and would like help managing your house, read our cleaning schedule for working moms for all the best hints, tips, hacks and ideas.
Promise Yourself
Wouldn’t it be lovely to wake up in the morning feeling joy in your heart, peace in your soul and a renewed connection to live each day with loving intentions? Making a clear decision on how you want to live each day is a small step toward feeling more joy, connection, passion, enthusiasm and fulfilment.
It’s easy to lose yourself in the busyness of being a mom only to find that you no longer recognise who you once were. Promise yourself you will be more present and intentional this week as you love more.
Do You
Another way to love yourself is not to waste time on things you don’t want to do. This includes negative emotions, mom guilt, mindless scrolling on social media, or unfulfilling relationships.
Focus on meaningful exchanges and connectedness. On being present.
If someone is telling you about their day, stop what you are doing, look them in the eye and genuinely listen. Then ask them a question.
If you choose to live mindfully with positivity and gratitude every day, you will focus on what matters. The people you love. Your energy and living with joy.
Daily self-love for moms practice will set new habits so that eventually, they become ingrained. By installing fresh patterns, you set up new neurons in your brain, so your behaviour becomes second nature in time.
As every person is different, we have outlined suggestions on how you can increase your self-love below.
Mindful Parenting
According to Dr Amy Saltzman, studies have shown that parental stress is the most significant contributor to childhood and adolescent stress. Essentially your stress is contagious to your children.
As their role model, you are one of the greatest influences on your children’s lives, so learning to manage stress is crucial to being a good mom. Mindful parenting reduces anxiety and stress and positively impacts the child-parent relationship.
Parenting can be challenging, frustrating and exhausting, so pausing and taking a breath, especially in the moment, can be really useful. Whether you are running late for school or dealing with a meltdown, it helps to slow down and take a step back to think about how you would like to respond.
Mindfulness aims not to still the mind but to be aware of the present moment with less judgment. Through conscious thought, you can cultivate self-regulation, emotional awareness and non-judgmental acceptance.
Mindfulness is a skill that takes practice. By setting an intention to pause and respond in a kind and compassionate way, your children will benefit from a safer and more trusting environment.
Visit our article on Mindfulness for Moms for more ideas on increasing mindfulness while reducing anxiety, stress and exhaustion.
How To Mindfully Parent
There are many different ideas and techniques for mindful parenting; however, an easy one to remember is the STOP technique.
STOP stands for:
S – Stop
T – Take a deep breath
O – Observe what is happening with both yourself and your child/ren. Listen to your breathing. Focus on your breath.
P – Proceed
To break it down even further, mindfully parenting involves:
Stopping and listening
When you stop, take in everything, all sights, smells and sounds surrounding you and your child. Be in the moment and breathe.
Nonjudgemental Acceptance
As you breathe, accept the feelings that come up in the moment but just observe. Accept the situation for what it is and let go of all expectations of your child.
Emotional Awareness
Listening and being more present in the moment is a fantastic way to become more attuned to your child and deepen your relationship with them. Modelling emotional awareness and self-regulation creates a peaceful and calm space while allowing children to feel safe.
Self Regulation
If you stop and listen first, you can eliminate inappropriate responses. This makes it easier to respond to situations in a more thoughtful, patient and kind way.
By pausing and considering how you are feeling, you can also think about how your child is feeling and what everyone might need at that moment.
Compassion
Mindful parenting encourages moms to act with compassion. You may not agree with your child’s actions or emotions, but putting yourself in their position and acting with empathy will positively impact your child.
Compassion extends to yourself as well. If the situation has not turned out well, it just is. Let go of self-judgement and criticism. Accept parenting is hard and focus on doing better next time is all anyone can ask.
Gratitude
Gratitude is a positive emotion that reflects a deep appreciation for someone or something in our lives. It is considered the most impactful intervention in positive psychology.
The one thing happier people all seem to have in common is gratitude. Gratitude increases resilience and acts as an antidote to negative emotions such as anger, envy and resentment.
Studies have proven that gratitude increases our wellbeing in many ways encompassing physical, psychological, and social benefits. Based on research, people who practice gratitude exercise more and take better care of their health. They sleep longer and feel more refreshed when they wake up.
People who practise gratitude also report having more positive emotions, including joy, pleasure, optimism and happiness. The social benefits of gratitude include feeling less lonely and being more forgiving, helpful, generous and compassionate.
Dr Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough’s research found that people who kept a gratitude journal were 25% happier. Essentially, if we are always chasing something else, it’s easy to lose sight of the magnificent joy in front of us every day.
Gratitude is not about getting; it’s appreciating what we already have. In the simple beauty of life, we take so much for granted. But it’s the people we love, our health, our community and nature that matter. It’s the ordinary things in life that are truly extraordinary.
Gratitude is a skill, so the more your practice it, the better you will get at it.
A hug, a shower, a simple smile. It’s so easy for these things to go unnoticed, but it’s these small blessings that are cause for pause. Learning to genuinely appreciate our blessings, big or small, takes practice.
How to Practice Gratitude
Gratitude forms a big part of self-love for moms and needs to be practised consistently every day until it becomes a habit. The easiest way to practice gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal.
Simply write down three to five things every morning and every night that you feel grateful for. These can be anything, including things, people or experiences.
Alternatively, you can download a gratitude app such as Presently: A gratitude journal, the digital version of a gratitude journal. Each day you will be prompted to type what you are grateful for.
The app allows you to view your gratitude entries daily. Presently is free and has no adverts; however, there are many other gratitude apps you can choose from.
Another way to practice gratitude is to say thank you. You can say thank you by sending a gift, writing a card, making a video or by thanking someone in person.
When we cultivate gratitude in our lives, we change the way we feel, which changes how we act. As we start to feel better, we appreciate ourselves more, and when we start to appreciate ourselves more, we make healthier choices.
If you set time aside for gratitude every day within a few weeks, you will notice an increase in your joy.
Breathing
Being a busy mom can mean that many of us are stuck in a state of perpetual thinking. Consumed with the past or the future, we are rarely in the now.
According to James Nestor, author of the best selling book Breath, how we inhale and exhale can have a phenomenal impact on our health. The benefits of breathing correctly include rejuvenating internal organs, eliminating snoring, asthma, autoimmune disease and increasing athletic performance.
Breathing is a gateway into the present moment and can reduce tension and anxiety, making us better parents.
Breathing exercises relieve stress, increase energy and even curb hunger pangs! Breathwork is an ancient healing technique and acts as a calming agent due to the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system.
Breathing is easier than meditation as it doesn’t require you to still your mind. Instead, it lets your body do the work of bringing you into the present moment.
One of the best things about breathing exercises is that you can reap the benefits in a short amount of time. In fact, most show effectiveness in five minutes or less. And you can do them anywhere, anytime.
You can incorporate breathing exercises into your daily routine or use them next time you feel stressed, angry, sad, or any other emotion you would like to get through. Below are some simple breathing techniques to get you started.
Breathing Techniques
Counted Breath
This exercise is very quick and easy; it regulates your breathing, builds your concentration and brings you into the present moment.
To practice counted breathing, sit comfortably. Inhale to a slow count of 5. Exhale to a longer count of 7. As you get better, increase the numbers and go to a higher count.
This breathing exercise is fast and effective. Great if you have toddlers or teenagers!
Alternative Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)
Nadi Shodhana has a myriad of benefits. It is a powerful breathing practice that infuses the body with oxygen, clears and releases toxins, reduces stress and anxiety, and calms and rejuvenates the nervous system.
To practise Nadi Shodhana choose a comfortable sitting position and gently close your eyes.
Place your right thumb on your right nostril, blocking the air and start with an exhale from the left nostril.
Inhale from the left nostril.
Block the left nostril and exhale from the right nostril.
Inhale from the right nostril.
Block the right nostril and exhale from the left nostril.
Continue for a minimum of five minutes ending on an exhale from your left nostril.
Breathing with children
You may also like to try this fun exercise with your children.
Lie on your back with a stuffed toy or a weighted stuff toy on your belly.
Breath in and move the stuffed animal up.
Then breathe out and bring the stuffed animal back down.
This is a great exercise to help you use your belly for breathing and is an excellent technique for children with anxiety.
Think Positive
It sounds like a cliché but thinking positively has many benefits, including reducing stress and improving health. Positive thinking involves replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.
Thinking positively does not eliminate bad things from happening in life. It just means we expect the best outcome rather than the worst. Due to our negative bias, becoming an optimist takes time and practice, but the process is straightforward.
I recommend starting small by choosing an area of your life that you usually think negatively about. If the area you choose to focus on involves your inner critic, negative self-talk, mom guilt or your body, then please be nice to yourself.
Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you love and care about. Be gentle, reassuring, kind and supportive with all internal dialogue. Most of all, forgive yourself.
We need all the love we can get to survive this mom journey. And we especially need it from ourselves.
The beginning of changing your inner dialogue is awareness. To change old thought patterns, first of all, you need to be aware of when they occur.
When you recognise your negative self-talk, you can actively foster self-love at that moment by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. In this way, you can reprogram your thoughts and silence your inner critic.
Many of the points outlined in this article can help with positive thinking, including gratitude, mindful parenting and breathing. The most important thing is to set a goal and focus.
A good example is that rather than thinking you are failing as a mom, recognise the learning opportunities that each new day brings and focus on how you might do better tomorrow. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, think about how you will handle situations differently in the future.
Affirmations
Affirmations are a great way to increase self-love for moms, they are backed by science and are a proven method of rewiring the brain to form new clusters of positive thought neurons.
Acting like exercise for the brain, affirmations break patterns of negative thought and raise feel-good hormones. This newfound positivity has a profound impact on the decisions we make about ourselves and our lives.
In this way, positive affirmations assist us in crafting a brighter, more positive future. You can visit our article, including a list of 121 positive affirmations for moms, via the blog.
Self-Love for Moms Ideas
Below is a list of ideas for setting an intention to cultivate self-love every day.
Be present and in the moment.
Practise kindness and compassion to yourself and others.
Laugh more.
Listen more.
Be more loving.
Encourage.
Forgive.
Breathe more deeply.
Soften your voice.
Self-love is about self-acceptance. However, there is also an element of rewiring your brain, and that can take practice.
So as you journey to a place of more love, calm, gratitude, positivity, or mindfulness, know that every tiny action you take to reach your destination is progress.
Every day will not be perfect, but focussing on less self-criticism and more self-acceptance will create a more optimistic outlook. At the end of the day, recognise your daily wins and what went well.
Try to focus on the great things, however small – a cuddle, a smile, sunshine or coffee. There are days when having a shower or washing your hair is a win.
No matter how big or small, congratulate yourself. Celebrate yourself. You deserve credit for showing up and for continually putting one foot in front of the other. You are amazing.
Nourish Your Body
A great self-love for moms routine does not happen overnight, so try to make small incremental changes every day. Aim for progress, not perfection.
A great way to start any day is to have a big drink of water with a squeeze of lemon! Other ways to nourish your body include sleeping enough, moving as much as possible, eating clean, eating foods you enjoy in moderation, managing your stress, staying hydrated and listening to your body.
Relax
Every day, take some time to do something that gets you out of your head and into the joy of living. The way we unwind and relax is different for everyone.
Genuinely losing yourself in the moment will bring you back to the present and remind you of how wonderful life is. Whatever way you choose to relax, the goal is to turn off any internal dialogue and be completely present in the moment. Below are some ideas to get you started.
Play with your children.
Meditate.
Exercise.
Learn something new.
Socialise.
Lose yourself to fantastic music.
Dance.
Draw.
Sing.
Spend time with your pet.
Read a book.
Take a bath.
Light a candle.
Put lavender in an aromatherapy diffuser.
Do some yoga.
Do some visualisation or breathing exercises.
Daydream.
Try a new recipe.
Get or give a massage.
Play a game.
Discover something new.
Whatever activity you choose, ideally, it will leave you feeling invigorated, renewed and refreshed.
If you don’t know where your happy place is or what brings you joy, then make a list of ten ideas and write them down. You can use the ideas in this article as a foundation or come up with your own.
Take ten minutes every day to try one of the ideas. Note whether you enjoyed the activity and how it made you feel. If you think it had a positive impact, do it again tomorrow.
By trying new things and tuning in to discover how they make you feel, you will develop new insights into spending your time to increase your self-love and confidence.
You can also take Yales most popular course, nicknamed “The Happiness Class”, for free on Coursera. The official title of the class is Psychology and the Good Life, but it has been adapted and expanded on Coursera and retitled “The science of wellbeing”.
It’s super user friendly and can be completed via your phone. The course focuses on giving you the skills you need to live a happy and fulfilling life.
I gained some fantastic insights into who I am and what makes me happy by completing the course. I did the course a few years ago and often return to the ideas and things I learned when I feel my wellbeing needs a boost.
Commune With Nature
When was the last time you lay on the grass and stared at the sky? Or noticed the smell of rain or freshly mowed grass?
There are so many beautiful and amazing things to do outside to make your heart sing. Self-love for moms involves tapping into the energy source that comes from the bliss of communing with nature.
I once heard a saying, “5 minutes spent in awe of nature is as beneficial as an hour in therapy”. I don’t know who said it, but I’m all for free therapy! Below are some free therapy ideas to get you started.
Watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset.
Look at the clouds or the stars.
Plant something or do some gardening.
Walk in the forest, on the beach, in a park or up a mountain.
Build a fire and toast marshmallows.
Get some sunshine.
Have a picnic in the park.
Take your children to jump in puddles.
Climb a tree.
Go for a swim.
Ride a bike.
You can also bring a touch of nature indoors by buying yourself a bunch of flowers or adding some plants to your home.
Quotes
Quotes are a wonderful way to learn, feel inspired, gain wisdom and find support. Reading something inspiring can provide a pick-me-up on days when you feel exhausted and overwhelmed.
When looking for inspiration, a positive quote can energise you, prompting you to take action. Positive words also help you look on the bright side of life, giving you hope for a better future.
Reading inspiring words forms a part of self-love for moms as they offer guidance and motivation. Visit our blog article with 245 positive quotes to inspire, energise and uplift.
Digital Detox
A digital detox involves taking time out from all screens, including computers, tablets, smartphones, televisions and social media. Although we love our screens the news, checking emails, texts, and social media can be stress-inducing and depressing.
The benefits of a digital detox include having more time, improving relationships, reducing stress, boosting productivity, improving sleep, increasing mindfulness and more. Reducing screen time is one of the best self-love for moms practises.
So here are some ideas you might like to try:
Put your phone away two hours before you go to sleep, and then don’t check it until you have been awake for half an hour the next morning.
Only check your phone once an hour.
When you use social media, use it to connect with others, not compare your life to theirs.
Don’t watch the news; read it online instead. Limit the amount of news you consume.
Read
Reading is a beautiful way to practise self-love for moms. Reading reduces stress and improves your memory and focus.
There are many books on self-love; most teach you how to think positively so you can become your own best friend. Self-help books can motivate you to make positive changes, develop your weaknesses, better your relationships and improve your health.
If you are not usually a reader, why not challenge yourself to read something inspiring and uplifting for 20 minutes every day. We have a list of the best self-help books for moms here covering topics such as anxiety, believing in yourself, increasing joy, relationships, parenting and more.
Give Love
Research shows that happy people focus on the good in the world; they think about kindness and do kind things. They also recall kind things they have done for people in the past.
I always find a great way to get out of a funk if I have a bad day is to do something nice for someone else. So, write your children a love letter, put a love heart chocolate in their lunchbox, make their favourite dinner, leave flowers on their bedside table, or take your random acts of kindness further afield.
Do something nice for your loved ones, your neighbours, donate blood or donate time or money to charity. It will make you happier, and you will also be making the world a better place.
You can also cultivate more self-love for moms through cuddles, kisses, love letters, appreciation, saying “I love you”, holding hands, and by displaying children’s artwork, awards or writing. To demonstrate your love, you can also tell your children why you are proud of them, look them in the eyes, smile, and give them your undivided attention.
And don’t forget to have fun with them by painting, colouring, building lego, baking, reading, playing games and doing puzzles. These are just a few ideas to get you thinking about ways you can make your household more loving.
Tips for Hard Days
Being a mum can be difficult sometimes, so it will help to plan how to manage those challenging days when you don’t feel up for the task. Self-love for moms on hard days involves reaching out to ask for help, phoning a friend, wearing a bright top to cheer yourself up, painting your nails, lighting a beautiful candle, getting out of the house or watching funny YouTube videos.
Everyone is different, and it’s helpful to have a personalised ‘go-to’ plan if you feel like you are not coping. My plan involved calling a supportive friend who offered encouragement in those moments when I thought I was not enough. You can also plan something exciting; having something to look forward to can help with the doldrums.
Get Organised and Declutter
Getting organised and decluttering will give you a new lease on life. It’s so cathartic to organise your space into a calm and serene environment.
Tackle one room at a time once a week or once a month until they are all done. Keep a box handy and fill it up weekly with things you will donate, sell or throw away.
The less stuff you have, the easier your house will be to organise. Being organised is one of the qualities of being a good mom and will give you a sense of empowerment and control over your days.
Find a place for everything and designate a small space in a cupboard somewhere for those bits and pieces you need to deal with later, such as post or something you still haven’t found a place for.
Take before and after photos when cleaning. Keep benches clear. Listen to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up on audible or buy the book to get you in the spirit. Getting organised and decluttering is a meaningful step toward self-love for moms.
Technology
Technology has become a phenomenal tool to help you with intention. There are apps for positive affirmations, inspiring quotes, gratitude, meditation, journaling and more.
These tools can help keep you focused on your goal by sending reminders, inspiration, and valuable information to assist you with decision-making. There’s an app for everything these days, so that’s why we have reviewed some of the best apps for moms here to get you started.
Related: For ideas on what to buy the new mom, visit our 85 new mom care package and gift ideas here.
It’s easier said than done, but please don’t feel guilty for taking time out for yourself. So much mom guilt stems from taking the time you need to care for yourself. Self-love for moms is not selfish.
We feel bad as moms for prioritising our wellbeing. We feel guilty for working or not spending enough time with our kids, for screen time, fast food, etc. Little. Thing. So stop and be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Slow down. Shift priorities.
To be the parent you want to be for your children takes focus, courage and persistence. It also requires a willingness to reflect on what you need to be the best mom you can be.
Practising self-love allows us to be more self-aware and attuned to our needs, thereby increasing our happiness. Making time for self-love for moms every day takes practice.
Allow yourself time to make mistakes. You are doing the best you can do. A calmer, more peaceful family life will be the reward. And a much happier you. Breathe more, stress less, and live with love.
These life-changing ideas on self-love for moms will increase your self-love, self-worth and ensure you feel happier making you a much better mom.
